So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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