i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
