So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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