drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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