the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
