let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
