all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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