problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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