your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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