so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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