Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
