I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
