If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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