just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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