In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
