im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
