Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
