Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
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