Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize