I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
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