Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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