we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
