peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
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