Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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