He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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