i just wanna soil my oats bro
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
