i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize