I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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