I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
