What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
