We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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