bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
