i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
