I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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