Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
