I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
