you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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