You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
