This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize