Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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