He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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