I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
