i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
