Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Where did you get a picture of my penis
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
