I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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