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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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