she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
