Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I think I won the penis lottery.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
