I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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