She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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