It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
we're so committed to being not committed
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
