nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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