I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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