My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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