stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
