I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
