...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
