marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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