I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
