apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
