How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
